I am moved to heal the wounds doubts inflicts upon me; doubt is required to have a successful inner life. I can never know the strength of my sanity if it has never been challenged. The world bombards our mind with assumptions early then, in our ignorance, we move through the world carrying everyone else’s burdens. Self-Love is a juggling act that demands we examine what is needed from every particular hour of our lives. However, you can never completely turn your back on the culture that shaped you, and we must revere what has been created. There is beauty in this creation, and we can never go back to any other time but must move forward. Our responsibility, through a redefined self love, is to push the culture forward; the paradoxical nature of this push involving internal success is not always visible. We are always looking for external recognition, pleading and despairing something outside of ourselves will validate the work of the present moment, but we must look inside and back to discover our true relationship. There is no sense of self if we are unable to examine our personal history, and develop our life source from living internally. Know thyself is a term thrown around often, by spiritualists, and I am happy it came along, but there is an attempt by groups to know ourselves outside of who we have become. I, definitely, accept everyone on this continent has a long history before coming to the new world, but without examining the complexity, destruction, confusion, and love produced on this side of the planet we are misallocating our internal resources. Every American comes from a combination of European, Native American, and African traditions; we all have been shaped by those cultures. Attempting to deny our cultural heritage is causing internal troubles that are a reflection of our external issues. We are involved in a balancing act both internally and externally; however, we often fail to recognize everything the country suffers from is a product of our own internal indoctrination. We can not continue carrying the burdens, hatred, and distrust around because it reflects our internal systems of development. Pushing ourselves into the interior intricacies of our lives plants seeds of discovery and acceptance; accepting our entire lives is walking on the path of love. 

We must accept all facets of our lives; nothing is left behind, we may attempt to ignore the parts of ourselves we wish to not take, but it will only destroy us. While on the journey of self-love we are forced to discover our roots, while ascending towards heaven; we are living two lives and the denying of either is stagnation or damnation. I am watching a generation invent new things to hide behind, hiding is nothing new only the tools used to hide change with each generation: plaques, diplomas, positions of power, people-hating, racism, nationalism, pornography, dreaming, and a virtual world all used to stand by rigid positions. We often,unconsciously or for safety, mimic the world around us, and become a carbon copy of the way we watched people love before us. We repeat the errors without challenge because of our ignorance; we follow them blindly into assumptions on goodness and evil only to be caught in the same lack of nourishment. We grow by being steadfast through the greatest doubt; we need doubt, fear, rage, disappointment, and all those other emotions we are ashamed of and repress when they rise. But if we are to rise and become one with ourselves, we must accept everything about living. We must attune ourselves to our spirits, and live internally guided; we are in the process of a new beginning, and the old must be integrated into us, not denied, so we can learn from this point in history.

Narcissus
Painted originally by: Barbara Regina Dietzsch