To love, one must be able to be alone, and the ability to trust your aloneness is an act of the deepest strength; aloneness is a becoming, when we leave people that are undeserving of our energy we grow up. We move deeper into a space of trusting the transformation potential and spontaneity of life. I am not attempting to negate the joy of togetherness, but we all are required, at some time or another, to become responsible for our own lives. We are responsible for the silence of our aloneness and discover the path of our freedom; we have an obligation to drive into the heart of our unhappiness, and pull out the life that sits within the cage. What we extend, we become. In relationships there is a tendency to overextend and lose oneself in the extension of another person, but learning to back away from someone is just as important as learning to fight for a person. Because we are afraid of never finding someone or we crave someone to hold us or it seems we will be lonely forever, we stay in expired relationships attempting to give life to dead situations. Everyone who has been really lonely knows how close we all totter to the edge of death; we know how close despair brought us to suicide and contempt for our lives. Then when someone comes into our lives and fills that space with moments of beauty and joy it becomes addictive; a kiss on the cheek, conversations with depth intertwined with laughter, and being held in the bed while it is cold outside are all rare moments in someone’s life. We’ll do anything to hold onto those moments of specialness. We know intimately the boredom and mundane that has haunted our lives, so when a figure of immense strangeness comes and opens our possibilities letting go become equivalent to giving up. Commitment is walking through fear, tiredness, and doubt trusting in the effort of our energies; we must trust in the heart of our hearts that we can utilize aloneness and not force anything into our lives.
The many opinions of the world can have is second guessing our hearts; all around us we are bombarded with social media myths, expectations placed on our age, frozen snapshots of moments that do not represent the complete life of couples, and the failing voiced of self-help gurus hanging on for life by the insecurity of their consumption obsessed clientele. To be alone is to create a space of complete absorption into our spirit, and having the absolute courage to follow our guts. Many remain willfully ignorant and blind ourselves to the red flags that signify a need for change in our lives. The other side of everything we ignore is terrifying, but it contains our transformation; we must learn to leave situations that do not serve us. The only response to our naivety is diving into our aloneness and not running from everything it brings. We must become committed and never reject ourselves; this is a declaration of our right to be happy and our right to be loving. This commitment allows us to become more spontaneous and more open; then we can discover the life and love happening around us. The life we desire to manifest is contained in a world waiting for our consciousness; they do not open themselves up until we have a faith in the world around us. Simultaneously going after and being patient with the world; aloneness is a powerful devotion to ourselves and an opportunity to discover the nourishment of our life. We may be lonely but we can become courageous in this moment of our lives. We must not hide our loneliness or loneliness from ourselves, but must become a people courageous enough to shift our thinking and follow our heart.