We must expand our personality in order to make love, and our views on intimacy must be extended to embrace the divinity of another person. To fully inhabit someone’s being–physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual– requires our past to take its rightful place as an event, or string of events, that have occurred and ended. Acceptance, a word with as much vagueness as terms like spirituality or healing, is a continual process of preventing our past from spilling over into the present; requiring a sensitive vulnerability acknowledging the invasions of our trauma onto the present. Love, sex being an extension of this divine act, requires an active maturation which can be stunted by fear when haunted by trauma; spontaneity and faith become our saviors once we have refined ourselves enough to believe in there possibility. We avoid what has harmed us, but as our desire for connection grows, in order to meet these demands, we must release the fear that constricts us from holding onto another person; sex and love contain the potential for transformation.
Life is extraordinarily beautiful, strange, and the moment death seems ready to embrace us a new opportunity at life begins; like a beetle on its back that has ceased kicking its legs then the wind blows his legs under him for another life. Liberation is found through acceptance and persistence–let me clarify by saying persistence is often shown beside workout videos, linebacker speeches, and Billionaire quotes justifying the laziness of the working class, but I mean a total complete involvement in the day, in the hour, and meeting the responsibilities hour by hour— of every aspect of our lives; allowing ourselves to be touched, by gentle hands, and giving ourselves to a deserving soul is transformative. Recognizing the connection between every life on and outside the planet requires a re-configuration of the mind; we are raised believing in the superior nature of man and his right to have dominion over ever living thing on the planet. I’ve had to learn the level of attention, gentleness, and nurturance I give another soul is a reflection of the treatment given to myself. Achieving this realization while in “Samsara” leads to nirvana.
The belief in a continuity between heaven and earth has served the Tantrics for eons, I believe, providing a significant hope for people struggling developing the courage to create, act, and nurture love. Transformation is possible and one does not have to suffer forever under the weight of the past; an alteration of consciousness is achieved through embracing the complexity of our lives, the tantrics believed techniques, such as yoga and breathe work, could lead to nirvana, I believe, so can intimacy.
The nation viewed sex as purely sensuous, a way of power or domination, often treated recklessly, and in some circles viewed as inherently evil causing a complicated relationship between us and desire. The spiritual potential of sex was disregarded and the response to our craving resulted in the rise of dark associations with sexual activity, even contributing to our exploitation of the body, lacked no discrimination, and the more repressive, shameful, and irresponsible we became the more quiet conversations around the potential of sex became. I believe, however, we can bring ourselves to balance by the counterweight of negative images of sex through processive views that encourage sexual exploration, and we achieve this through a confrontation with, and completion of, our myths by making them more human, more complete, and cleansing the abhorrent views on sexuality. Our lovers are complements to our spirit; the sum of the two is greater than the parts.
Became of my past, sex became filled with anxiety, hesitancy, and fear; as a child my body was touched and felt on by an adult, with much confusion of my end; as a teen my dick was grabbed by several women twice my age, but, at the time, I assumed the lack of restraint came from my undeniable beauty. It is unfortunate so many children misinterpret abuse associating the trauma with beauty, specialness, or an attribute that allows us to soothe the pain of unwelcomed hands terrorizing our bodies. A hand came again while in college that caused a paralysis that brought we back to the moment of being a child, that same kid at 7 years old walking into a room and my relationship to myself changing forever. Dating women that drained my body caused a reluctance to let anyone near me, but my desire to be held continued to burden me. I learned people come and go, our responsibility is to learn the lesson intertwined in the moment; although, I have had many traumatizing hands invade my body many beautiful, gentle, and patient lovers provided the space to redefine intimacy. I learned to make love physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually through art, intimacy with another soul, and connecting to myself. As my intuition develops, wisdom deepens, and awareness becomes one with the divine the pain of the past becomes merely our story, as it should be, and not our future. As our interest grows in love, we learn love.