The life we know is a culmination of the mistakes we have made, jobs that didn’t go through, blessings that came in disguise, and all the unrequited loves. Our ruminations on the directions life could of taken us down is pointless, and disregards the chance we have to make something of the life before us. We overlook life’s beauty, expansiveness, and unpredictability through clinging onto the past; our current vividness and beauty requires a space that allows us to relinquish control and expand playfully within our becoming. This space is sex, and, for the artist, creative solitude.

The Grief of Orpheus by Pascal Dagnan-Bouveret (1876)

Sex is a space for intellectual, spiritual, and artistic exploration; not merely biological or a lustful carnal desire. It comes as little surprise the second chakra, sacral chakra, is also called your creativity energy center; spiritualist say, those that are unable to create, lack spontaneity, and are blocked sexually need healing in this energy center. Sex and art are intimately intertwined as both an act of resistance against the status quo and a space of healing; the healing coming from revealing yourself, and placing yourself at the mercy of an “other”. Sex, like art, can be filled with anxiety, doubt, a fear of rejection, and even thoughts, that eventually manifest, of an inability to last long enough to reach mastery. Each aspect of our lives is a reflection of another aspect; we take ourselves everywhere we go, sex and art can reveal our relationship to the world.

Orpheus and Eurydice is a painting by Edward John Poynter

Our minds are often are harshest critics and nakedness is not merely removing the layers of clothes covering our flesh, but is a mental, spiritual, and creative vulnerability; a symbolic willingness to lay ourselves out and accept each piece of flesh one by one. We use our art to impose ourselves onto the world; we often look closely for eyes of acceptance, rejection, or aloofness. We beg for these to enjoy us, feel us, accept us, and want more of us; like Orpheus we look back and make sure the connection is real. Sex is symbolic of artistic creation, and our desire to connect is reflected in both arts; only through complete vulnerability can we lay ourselves before the world and through courage accept the answer we receive.

An absorbing errand is a wondering book that captures the beauty of sexual energy in the act of creation. Moving through sexual trauma is difficult, but with patience and mindfulness revealing ourselves becomes a treat and a stimulator for other parts of our lives.

An absorbing errand by Janna Malamud Smith